My partner came up to London this week to visit me, which is just what I needed (between feeling slightly home sick and my Mum being diagnosed with a tumour on her kidney) I needed the company and cheering up.
We had a brilliant week doing lots of sight seeing including the London Sea Life Aquarium, which is something we have been talking about for years. It was also just nice to be able to cuddle up and spend some real time together. I was obviously sad to see him off back to Plymouth today, but he has to go back and finish his degree.
After saying good bye I went to the gym, then filled my evening doing odd bits and bobs and watching films. It wasn't untill I just turned off the light to get an early night that it hit me. An overwhelming sense of loneliness. I have spent 9 days sharing my bed and every single hour of my day with another person, so that is quite expected.
I did not however realise how isolated I also feel living up here. The first thing I would normally do is call a friend, but most of my really good friends still live back home, and they can't always answer a phone, they have their own lives to lead. I'm trying really hard not to worry my parents (Mum especially) about me up here, so don't feel like I should be calling them. Plus I'm a grown woman, I shouldn't have to call up Mum when I'm feeling bad right? I realised that I have very few people up here in London that I could call upon in a crisis. I think this is what has made me feel so bad tonight. Feeling isolated and alone.
Saying all of this:
- My Mum reads my blog so will now know everything and probably worry any way,
- It is really ok to call your up your Mum dispite being an adult
- I just need to get out there and make more friends
I know this feeling will pass and things will get better and easier. I have after all only been here a short while, but for now I'm not feeling too great...
i will always answer my phone :) unless on the loo.. or at work..you get my jist :) i get those feelings all the time, its hard making special friends at our age but you will always have the originals :) plus when even im down i call my mum, i just dont tell her im down ;) or organise a impulse trip home, im going home on the 9th of March due to that :P xxx
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